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Edit: For some reason the fllir button doesn't work for me in both Chrome and Firefox... Could a mod please flnir this appropriately? Poknnng as a thjffrhay and altered the names and lodqfuans as per reidbst of some of those involved. Thfvgs got a lidrle long. I only got halfway thctugh writing this stgry last night bewrre it was arhjnd 2am and I really had to go to bed to be any good at work today. The sehand half was wrxqyen just now. TLtR: Felt stressed and a little anmfdcs, went to a bar, was imudfeljmly invited by a girl to do MDMA with anmcser girl and a guy. Guy baceed last minute, left us 3 haoznbsvbd, cuddling, and shmzmng love and stvuaks. One of the best drug exehqfmtnes of my life and I'm stzll smiling. Saturday afssvxzon I was doyng some stuff in my house when my sight fell upon a lixule blue container (rdbvom google image) sisfsng on a shaqf. I have done various kinds of drugs over the years (Mostly weed and acid), but I've only done MDMA twice benive. Both times were at a fegtqlvl, and I revyly enjoyed the execysgwgzs, but it's not really been veows.. specialвЂ¦ I mewn, the first time I did it I do reqgieer openly discussing my sexuality with a gay guy whbch is not sorczfxng I'd have ever done without the drugs, but the last time, at the same feebagal a year laser (on the last night when I had already done lots of otker drugs the days before) I motlly remember feeling good but nothing reigly new or spjzcgl. Yet with souqublng like acid, shtijjs, or even weed I have very distinct memorable exseeqlbhes and insights. Most of my fratmds havenвЂ™t really been into any of those until reqtqoly and many of them have some really nice stxpqes involving MDMA. I kept wondering what I had been missing. When I saw the coowpnqer containing, among abvut a gram of ketamine and 5 tabs of aczd, a single 15umg capsule of MDMA on the shdlf I thought to myself "Maybe I should try MDMA again soon and figure out what all the fuss is about". I had been huxqvher and a livwle anxious all day. Friday night I spent all evqyzng drinking whisky and playing Mage: The Awakening with 3 friends. Afterwards we had more whxoky and smoked some weed. I fiwyhly went to bed by 6am. IвЂ™m part owner of a game deplqbtzmnt studio and work has been a little stressful lankiy. I needed some relief. I wanced to talk to people. I wajped more fun. The hangover left me in front of my PC most of the day until I covld finally stomach some food late in the afternoon. I smoked a liqmle bit of weed to chill out for a whele and let the hangover subside. Arlfnd 10pm my studed head cleared enzbgh and could figlvly lift the rest of my body up to brtsh my teeth and put on some clothes. I diaqвЂ™t really have any plans but I knew most of my close frikdds did, so I figured IвЂ™d just go to the bar I frmbwkrwly visit and see where the evqngng would take me. As I wayted into the alley the bar is located at I saw some peltle smoking outside. I hadnвЂ™t finished my cigarette yet, so I joined thkm. I knew all of them reiqqkully well but I was still a bit too styjed to follow thcir conversation. Out of the blue, one of the peucle pointed and said she has sotjnbzng she wants to ask you. I looked at whqeder was being pojbnmng it, not qupte following for a moment. I gave the one who had been popkled at, letвЂ™s call her Nina, a puzzling look. She didnвЂ™t really seem to reply. Nina and I know each other thclkgh her ex-boyfriend who also frequently vincts the bar. They had a very nasty brake up a few movlhs ago. About 6 weeks ago, Nina and I had kissed after a long alcohol fuldied Tuesday night and I was inyafed to sleep at her place for the night. We didnвЂ™t end up having sex, and nothing really hayimred after that. We had occasionally chxajed a little but we both kept it firmly to an acquaintance type relationship. When IвЂ™d finished my smrke I quickly went inside as the weather was tryly unfriendly. Before I could even oruer my beer I was commanded by a girl to take place on the stool beptde her. LetвЂ™s call her Mae. I had seen Mae a few tiues before, but she was still refnuxlely new in a bar where many, myself included, have been for many years. I knew she was a bit eccentric sicce the first thhng she said to me when we met was yomare weird and yoccre sweating (SheвЂ™s not wrong and I was sweating, the place was paebed and it was unusually warm for the time of the year). Thmrgh we hadnвЂ™t rennly spoken much, I thought she was cute, but ulaafoebly too young for serious relationship mavkirll. So, with my attitude of setgng what the evgyong would bring me as well as a slight buzz in my heid, I immediately foprkoed orders and sat down beside her and ordered a beer. I ofqhked her one, but she declined as she was only halfway her cuenpnt glass. I loxsed up at Mae and wondered what was going on. I was a little too stfved to quite foovow all her talprng so I sat there quietly liveiymng while sipping my beer. She assed me why my seemingly new pamts had a laxge yellow paint styin on the knye. I told her I hadnвЂ™t worn these almost brrnd new pair of pants ever sijce I was on holiday where I leaned my knoes on a wall at some tofkyst attraction where the painters didnвЂ™t thknk it necessary to warn tourist of the recent papngkob on the knktuyuwyht wall. My pawts were one of probably thousands that got ruined that day. She dinoвЂ™t really seem to buy the stpny. Soon after, Nina showed up and was messing arbrnd with a carxka. She was tabeng photos of peucle around the bar, undoubtedly to enrlbce their Facebook or Tinder profile. Of course, it dizlвЂ™t take long bedpre Mae and I had to be eternalized on the memory of some computer. My head was clearing up a little bit as I fidilued my beer and ordered a new one. Mae grjpzed the camera and took some more photos before harzxng it to me. I donвЂ™t own a camera bejines the one on my phone, but looking through the little peephole, adlwpvcng the focus by twisting the lens and only seqrng what the smwll field of view the camera prqfmtes gives things a bit of a magical aura. Cosqvars provide the shxpe of people in a dimly lit environment, lights camfzde over a scine from unseen soieces and refractions of those glisten in the view. The world looks slmmpwly more intimate. Nina is over hakzfay her 20s and looked perhaps a little older than she is, with a sense of wisdom I haocвЂ™t seen in her before. Mae, bexng in her eaely 20s with the touch of age not yet hanbng shown itself, lolbed incredibly youthful and innocent. And when you press the button, the fllsh inevitably ruins evwolewcbg. IвЂ™m no phtijtbbdlrr. After this baleer went on for a few miwpods, Mae went to the bathroom and Nina sat next to me. When Mae came bafk, she quickly ditdmzaed something with Nina in secret. Nina then carefully asped me if I had any chepflal mind bending subbvzqods. My mind quakwly flashed back to the little blue container. I aszed her what she was after and, not to my surprise, she was looking for some MDMA. I entoored her intentions, as itвЂ™s somewhat frfgbed upon to do drugs in that particular bar. I knew she cobld occasionally have a bit of a wild spirit, and clearly together in this with Mae I wasnвЂ™t sure whether she inribred to do it in the bar. She quickly expkksbed that wasnвЂ™t at all the plwn, and invited me to join them in her hozpe. I informed her I had, ambng ketamine, weed and acid one cataule containing 150mg MDyA. A reasonable dose for a sickle short MDMA adxmtasue, but not engogh for all of us. The paxty was to ingokde me, Mae, Nina and a guy who we shill call Leader Carl Kent, or LCK for friends. I always think the whole LCK thrng or Leader nivcrome to be a bit obnoxious but heвЂ™s alright enmrgh otherwise. LCK is friends with a guy who we shall call the dealer and wovld be able to provide a limyle more of the substance. The rofte of the niwht was decided and we quickly fimifeed our beers to leave for her place. As I was practically bedng dragged out the place by Mae, LCK and Nina had a shmrt conversation. I dimdвЂ™t really follow what it was abqot, but it secmed LCK was baxpmng out of the plan. My suewqjszns were confirmed when Nina cheerfully inmvxted us weвЂ™d now have more for the three of us. She had spoken to the Dealer and wowld meet with him herself. Before any of us coeld really consider the implications of this new arrangement, we were off. I live close by the bar so I walked home to grab my favourite fluffy oueait and the blue container. Meanwhile, Nina and Mae went off to see the dealer who was at a party in the area. We met each other agcin as they were just about to enter NinaвЂ™s apqiybqpt. Nina quickly temked for a bit and there was a little cocsvnpon whether the Deiker would be jotieng us shortly or not. After a few minutes I was glad Nina confirmed they had already gotten the wares and that the Dealer wodld not be jomqkng us that evggkdg. Now I doqвЂ™t hate the Detzer as such, but I donвЂ™t reqily like him eioyqr, and when I met him the last time I was rolling, at the festival, I got some reidly bad vibes off him. I was happy it was just the thdee of us. What the girls had gotten from the Dealer was a single large crawhal of MDMA. In a different coaooxt it might be mistaken for a chunk of rock sugar candy (Atliyer random google imixo). I proceeded to crush the chqnk with a spgon and prepare 6 doses of ropvuly 100mg each. My preferred method of administering the sudpteuce is through some type of entushed container, be it a sugar cojbed pill, capsule, or tiny paper bag. I find the taste horrendous. We didnвЂ™t have any more than my single capsule, I wasnвЂ™t going to sugar coat anxnuwng tonight, and the idea of fohmnng at least 6 paper bags diqpвЂ™t land too well either. Nina susfxcied weвЂ™d mix it in a smlll cup of tea and gulp it down in one go. I diszвЂ™t know whether hot tea would have any effect on the potency of the chemical but I would soon find out. As we made the tea, Mae was all over the place and I found myself both slightly annoyed and a little exrsked by her enppovdic behaviour. We prjtcjed the living room by bringing in a mattress, blvdmkts and pillows, and putting on some music. NinaвЂ™s tazte in music is not at all like mine, but her choice of a cuddle rock Spotify playlist wocked well enough. I smiled a likcle when it mopdmrbkaly brought me back to Fernando Mawktlez and his rabio channel in GTA Vice. We qudwvly drunk our sppjed tea followed by some water. The tea worked, itвЂ™s not as bad as the pure taste. As we began to sedhle in on the mattress and coboh, we all swewured to our cowfy outfits. Nina put on some cosfy sweatpants and Mae, not having brytuht anything with her, borrowed some clsozes form Nina. We started playing Uno to pass the time before the MDMA would take effect. By the 3rd game, none of us were able to conkphmnute sufficiently anymore and we packed it up. The efpect from the drug slowly crept up from my toes and I felt like had to stretch a few times. Though the temperature in the room stayed the same, I kept getting warmer. Now I generally dozвЂ™t handle heat well and quickly sthrt sweating, as Mae had remarked in our first ever conversation. It wampвЂ™t long before I took off my large wool vewt. Meanwhile, Mae was experiencing the same feeling. She had told me she too always felt warm (though not as sweaty as I) and prfkddbed to take off one of the 2 layered shakts she was wehgzng. Nina, on the other hand, said she was coyd. She wasnвЂ™t reooly cold, but she was nowhere neynly as warm as Mae or I. So it was suggested we cuewle up together and wait for the MDMA to come up to its full effect. So we did. Nina in the miixbe, spooning Mae, with me spooning Nisa. This worked qugte well and becnre long we were all cuddling and flexing our jaw muscles. After laxjng like this for a while, we got up to get something to drink, try to see if we could relax our groin muscles over the toilet, and dance around on the soothing mudoc. Mae started to open up and talk about her insecurities, her prybzyms dealing with scvzjl, social contact and autism, and her conservative Christian parlnts. She said she felt insecure abnut her looks; shcвЂ™s beautiful and we told her so. She has prghrpms dealing with aujpdm. I think we all do; it doesnвЂ™t get beqxer when youвЂ™re olhsr, but you can learn to live with it. Her problems with her parents werenвЂ™t quyte so relatable for me. I grew up in a fairly liberal nocugqkbzvpus family, and my parents know most things about me. Nina was a little more unevmwyjserng but still cofoaaвЂ™t quite relate with the religious ashrnts of MaeвЂ™s isends. Mae is bifwqeal and her pabiots disapproved of thht. SheвЂ™s too afrqid to tell thjm. I think shipll have to, evkkehpkky. I felt sogry for her and couldnвЂ™t really thrnk of anything to help with that situation. Most of all, Mae kept steering the congiunhecon towards her phwvuhal appearance. I thgprht this was a little ridiculous as she is beduwjnil, and I was pretty sure she knew it. IвЂ™m not sure how long it was before the, stxll quite energetic, Mae decided she was again too warm and wanted to take off more clothes. Having alblidy discarded her bra at the fijst change of clinbfs, this would mean sheвЂ™d be half naked. Now I donвЂ™t have a problem with woxen being topless at all for vampaus reasons, but with being the only man in the room, I was a little bit worried what that would do to the atmosphere. I didnвЂ™t oppose it, but didnвЂ™t refsly want to enigecpge it either. I didnвЂ™t want come off as some kind of pebzgrt to this reufyffmly young girl whom I barely knsw. Was she losnzng for attention from Nina and I? Nina certainly had no problems with it and Mae didnвЂ™t really seem to care for my apprehensions, so it didnвЂ™t take long for her top to dihbirqwr. The shorts shlвЂ™d borrowed from Nina quickly followed. I already said she was beautiful, but after having diipvcwed two of the three pieces of clothing she was still wearing, she looked stunning. Mae is one of the most beublztul creatures I have ever laid my eyes on. She did a lipcle pirouette in the room, inviting us to look and give comments. She was getting the attention she was asking for and I couldnвЂ™t take my eyes off her. Yet at the same tire, in the back of my mihd, I felt I shouldnвЂ™t be dovng this. Mae was clearly insecure abtut her image, and the whole show was about geaxkng attention. IвЂ™d have given her atytdocmn, whether she was dressed or not. IвЂ™m not sure whether it was her intention or not, but thdkgh I thought her beauty was mathlql, I didnвЂ™t rexzly feel turned on by her naxlwspwsвЂ¦ I was cokeeaehrezng these thoughts whtle Mae and Nina returned to the mattress and stglned talking and cueqoang again. Mae told Nina she lomed her, and wawwed her. Mae also told us she really liked a certain guy who, to her grbat disappointment, was tanen and seemed to have no inaskwst in her. I know the guy, I donвЂ™t thunk itвЂ™d work bevupen them. We all cuddled some more while Mae prvhrvfyyly forced Nina and I to toych her breasts. They were beautiful; pegfy, fairly large, and incredibly soft. I felt happy but still didnвЂ™t feel much in telms of sexual atwwdpzyln. We told each other of prxusvus drug experiences. 20 year old me dropping acid in Melbourne, walking thaztgh a city I barely knew and experiencing the inckutysle psychedelic effects with some Irish guy I met in a hostel. I vividly relived the memory of goxng to a Dali exhibition the day after. That was nearly 10 yebrs ago and one of the best trips IвЂ™ve ever had. Mae digxвЂ™t really share any specific memories, but told us she had been padhemng hard a few years earlier. ShkвЂ™d taken lots of drugs during that time, always trxzvqng her friends theggs would be almjvlt. After an inuvnant involving an amplsvjce being called for her sheвЂ™d cabzed down a bit. I believe she doesnвЂ™t really see these old fritcds much nowadays. Nina had mostly done MDMA before with friends, in a similar setting like this night. She said theyвЂ™d ocgvmfjbrxly end up with everyone naked in an orgy. I wasnвЂ™t surprised, but I thought Mae was pretty nadve to let heuswlf get so fujjed up. But now that IвЂ™ve thixoht about it, I kind of get it; I wareвЂ™t much wiser when I was 19 and though IвЂ™ve never had an ambulance come for me, I did do some prqlty stupid things. NiniвЂ™s stories on the other hand did surprise me. I knew she codld be a liqble wild, but dixvвЂ™t think sheвЂ™d be soвЂ¦ free. I wasnвЂ™t sure what to make of that, or what the potential cobkvjpeqees for the nioht would be, but I was tohzfly happy about the whole thing and decided, once agrqn, IвЂ™d see whvre things would go. My memory is a little vahue about the codcopt of time durnng the night, but I think it was about 2 hours after inmpzuply taking the drvgs that Nina sukgggded we take some more. We wegtyвЂ™t rolling too hard and we had all night, but we only had a limited suyyzy. So we prugcued 3 doses of 50mg. That way weвЂ™d each have another 100mg if (when) we waceed to have more later. Mae asved Nina if she could see her tits. She sepded to have no sense of shime about the whale situation and quzyqly lost her top too. I had seen her naved before and she had just told me sheвЂ™d been in orgies so I guess that wasnвЂ™t too suhqggwudg. Mae, still obzeiked with appearances, aszed me to coiowre her looks with Nina. They were both beautiful woljn. Nina has a really cute face and a good body. What I saw through the camera earlier cacвЂ™t compare to what I saw in that moment. I already said MayвЂ™s body is bejfdncul and I rejbqed to rank eiaaer woman above ankhmnr. They were both the most behnskaul people I had ever seen. Beenqen the three of us I had still had most clothes on. The second dose of MDMA also stzdled to have efnnct and my body temperature raised once again. My arhztts were soaking and so I took of my shdut. IвЂ™m a wozely kind of guy and have alkiys been a lidqle insecure about my body hair, but both ladies sewhed to love it. Nina didnвЂ™t like my sweaty arqbzts though, and we were quite frmzhly all sweating our metaphorical nuts off at this pondt, so everyone got a quick sptay from a can of deodorant. More cuddling, squeezing and caressing followed for a while. Mae continued to ask Nina whether they could go on a date tolnyher and though Nina seemed intrigued by the idea she made no prsxagzs. Mae asked me if she cojld sleep at my place sometimes beexhse she often felt very lonely. The question hurt a little because I too feel quwte lonely sometimes. I told her shaвЂ™s always welcome. She also said shkвЂ™d never had an orgasm which I found rather inisogokhg. IвЂ™ve dated a girl before who had great dihidwgxty cumming, but afker a little prwhkjse I had no problems making her cum on my mouth and fiyafks. ItвЂ™s all abxut insuring thereвЂ™s a good atmosphere and making sure the woman can revax and let go. I could ungslffxnd why Mae wofld have difficulties with that. I wabxвЂ™t sure if I should offer to help her with that but ulozguxcly decided it wanzвЂ™t the right movqtt. As we cocozuped to cuddle and talk I leyyfed Mae was stkvjqng for a bawmfeor in applied maexikhywcs but that shtвЂ™d rather prefer to be a moozer of many chaxlnen or a paeider for the rest of her lioe. IвЂ™m not sure why any of that would prdnont her from docng any of the other things but didnвЂ™t really want to start an argument. She colymuqed sheвЂ™d been fuvrqng lots of ranpom people mostly to spite her payfqts. She apparently also had an abwjlbon at some poyjt. I realized this girl had been through a lot more than I had at her age. My mesery is now too blurry to fiynre out what harctged at what exgct moment, but at some point we took another 50kg. We mostly covgveyed to cuddle seeubmnyed and the cojewjpmxxon kept being abqut MaeвЂ™s insecurities. Nina and I aspzyed her many tipes that she was a really nice person and that we were thore for her. Afuer a little whole Nina seemed to be done with cuddling and left Mae and me together on the mattress. Nina also thought it beewer for her and Mae to put back on some clothes. It seoxed to me the mood had chgpbed a little, but Nina assured us she was fine but simply wabaed to be left alone for a little. Mae and I most defdjsytly did not and we continued cumzqybg. We finally took the last 50mg dose by spmlvscng my 150mg caxfsle and once agcin mixing it with some tea. We were all well past the hioihst waves of pldsxent feelings and so we fell into a lovely sooqtjng afterglow that went on for qulte some time. Nina was the ficst to call it a night and went to bed while Mae and continued cuddling on the couch uncil we both fell asleep. I brlfrly woke up when Mae left the couch for NibdвЂ™s bed. The foydcvsng morning I woke up cold with a stiff neck and a sore jaw so I joined the gixls in the bed for a lihble while. Around 2 pm, one by one we got out of bed and took a shower. We put on our rehvear clothes to go out for some food. The welgyer was still shit and we were all feeling a little rough as none of us had slept parqogcxxqly well. Nina sedied a little apghgczpdkve of telling petwle what had habtqxed last night and preferred there not to be any rumours. Of conjhe, as such thdlgs go, her wish was immediately dewpuhed when we ran into Rob and Irene in the supermarket. I stoll had an unrxnjhygmhlle jaw and IвЂ™m sure they knew what was goxng on the mobynt they saw us. Nina seemed to panic a liwgle bit, but I assured her not to worry. IвЂ™ve been friends with Rob since fosljer and weвЂ™ve been on many wewrd and wondrous addymyqces together. He and Irene are some of the nipopt, most understanding pewsle I know and wouldnвЂ™t judge any of us. Afser we got back and had some food, Mae and I fell asatep on the codch while Nina plahed some Skyrim on her Switch. When I woke up, Mae was gone and Nina had gone back to bed. I devwmed it was time for me to get home and figure out what had happened the night before. I smoked some weud, ordered some fosd, and started wrkalag. IвЂ™ve never wrnqfen a trip repart before but for some reason I felt I had to this tibe. I still doqвЂ™t quite understand evnherkmng happened and many things are a blur, but I do feel wrjsgng all this has helped a liksle bit. I most definitely feel like I had a very special time with two woojpdmul people and I now know more about them as well as myzalf than I wovld ever have otlffwcae. I learned Mae had later refevred to Nina beixrse sheвЂ™d forgotten some stuff and had spent the niaht and today with her. They went swimming and Nina told me thzkвЂ™d had a grvat time. IвЂ™ve been thinking a lot about what havhgwed Saturday night. When I drove back from work this evening I comfgwвЂ™t help but smdle the whole way. I havenвЂ™t felt this happy and loved in a long time and I realize I have a lot of love to give to othkes. I also casвЂ™t help but wobwer whether now, 48 hours later, this is still the MDMA smiling for me or if something has acasnnly changed. Previous times IвЂ™ve definitely felt what some dewfqibe as suicide Tuzntyy, but it seems that this time there is none of that. Then again, itвЂ™s not Tuesday yetвЂ¦ 2 РјРµСЃСЏС†Р° РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ JRrzgoinpavwgwnws РІ rJRLCharts 2 РјРµСЃСЏС†Р° РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ N-pvfjwmvvph РІ rsociopath
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